The Cone of Shame

Posting was scarce this weekend because we have been dealing with the LemonDog.  Yes, I called her LemonDog.  When I gave her the nickname of LemonPuppy, it was a term of endearment for her crazy, adorable, injury prone hijinxs.  We are not laughing anymore, LemonDog.

It all started this weekend when we took her for a nice long afternoon walk.  When we were almost home I noticed that she was leaving a trail of bloody footsteps.  Poor LemonDog.  After inspecting her paws, we saw that she had a cut on her foot.  We took her home and wrapped it up but since it was on the soft part of her foot every time she took a step it would start to bleed again :(

We tried to keep her off her feet and put a sock over her foot to keep her from attempting to chew off the bandage.  It was going perfectly until we woke up at midnight to the sounds of LemonDog licking frantically at the bandage.  She proceeded to manically try to get at the bandage until 5am!  Naturally this meant we were up too trying to keep her calm and the bandage on her foot.  Finally she passed out from exhaustion and I knew it was time to call in the big guns.  A visit to LemonDog's home away from home.... the vet.

Cut to 2 hours in the waiting room, 6 stitches and $500 later the LemonDog is cured!  But she is not happy about it.

She split open the pad of her foot and it was going to reopen every time she walked unless they put in stitches.  Of course it couldn't be just a little cut and heal on its own.  That is not the way LemonDog rolls.  I don't even know how she managed to do this.  She didn't yelp or limp at any time during the walk. 

Poor LemonDog.  This seems to be a yearly thing for her.

2010

2011

Who knows what 2012 will bring?!?!

Trapped in the Closet

PSA: Moo.com is have a sale!  I can't believe it either.  I am desperately racking my brain to try and figure out what I can order.  I have my eye on those mini moo cards but are engagement photos aren't back yet :(  Doesn't mean that someone else shouldn't take advantage!

It has been a while since you have heard from the Lemon Puppy and you are probably wondering what she has been doing.  I am happy to report that she hasn't changed one bit.  The LemonPuppy lives in the downstairs bathroom while Mr. LP and I are at work.  Yesterday I came home to find that LemonPuppy managed to lock herself in the bathroom.  Oh she is such a delight!

I attempted to jimmy the door open all the usual ways.... credit card, safety pin, pens.  Finally I had to break out the screwdriver and take the handle off.  Of course I stopped the rescue mission half way through to take a picture.

Such a good mother

In the movies all you have to do is take the handle off and it opens, right?!?!  Well that didn't work.

LemonPuppy are you in there?!

Finally after about 10 minutes of LemonPuppy barking and practically pulling the handle off from the inside, I got her out.  I can't say that I didn't contemplate leaving her in there semi-permanently.  But she was so cute and sorry when she finally was free.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

For us in the LemonPuppy household, St. Patrick's Day is more than just green beer and corned beef.  It is about celebrating with family and friends.  A couple of weeks ago we brought the LemonPuppy up to Philadelphia to spend a little quality time with her very best friend..... her sister*: 

Bet you can't tell which is the LemonPuppy

Is it this one?!?!?

Fooled you... there she is... looking creepy

As it turns out we are a boxer family and my parents have a boxer as well.  They are the very best of friends and like to do lots of things together.  Like what you ask?

They love to wrestle

And wrestle some more

They like to take naps together.

This lasted all of 20 seconds

It is great having the two of them together because they can entertain themselves.  Why do you need humans when you can play tug-of-war with another dog?!

That poor toy never stood a chance

And finally after all this excitement it is time for a little 'quiet hour'.

Brushing each others hair

And snuggling

 'Cause we are the two best friends that anyone could have'....

*They are in no way related by blood.  If you wanted to be technical about it I guess my parents dog is my sister so LemonPuppy is her niece.  But going into that much detail would be weird, unlike devoting an entire post to an imaginary friendship. 

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

First Comes Love

The Lemon Puppy has a boyfriend.  LemonPuppy and Payton sitting in a tree.  K-I-S-S-I-N-G.  

The day before Valentine's Day something special arrived on my doorstep... but not for me.

Name covered to protect the Lemon

What could it be.... what could it be??  The only one who ever sends LemonPuppy anything is MamaLP (who is way too nice to the Lemon) and it wasn't in her handwriting so I was thoroughly confused.  I waited to for the Lemon to get home so she could open it herself (what?!? perhaps we spoil her and treat her too much like a person).

So Exciting!

Somebody loves you

What could it be?

Pink toys from her boyfriend

First come loves, then comes marriage, then comes a puppy in the puppy carriage.  The LemonPuppy got a valentine's gift from her boyfriend (lucky b*tch).  It was so thoughtful of Payton (and more importantly his mommy).

There was even a card

Is it weird that we are pretending she can read?

Yay!  The LemonPuppy was completely entertained which was the real present for Mr. LP and I.  And then as soon as it started, it was over.  :(  The Lemon showed her true colors and destroyed the toys.  Hopefully Payton never finds out about the way she treats his gifts. 

To Payton: Thank you Pookie Bear. Love: The LemonPuppy xoxox

Oh No She Didn't

The Lemon Puppy is not a single parent dog.  Unfortunately Mr. LP is still at work and I don't know how much more of the LemonPuppy I can take.  Here is what I came home today. 

What are you looking at you ask?  Why, that is LemonPuppy's cage without a LemonPuppy in it!  We crate her during the day when both Mr. LP and I are at work so she doesn't terrorize the house.  Don't worry Mr. LP comes home every day to take her out for potty breaks (he deserves major kudos for this) and my job ends early so she is not in there too long.  But the point is she should be in there! 

Her crate lives in the bathroom during the winter because the bathroom has a heater so she doesn't get cold.  We close the door to keep the heat in but when I opened it upon arriving home I found myself staring at an empty cage. 

All the signs are there that she has been in the bathroom so it doesn't appear that she has been abducted (I wish).  She completely destroyed the room.  Toilet paper unraveled and half the roll missing.  Trash all over the place. 

Thankfully (or unthankfully) I found the LemonPuppy behind the door but not before I swore Mr. LP would rue the day he brought her home.  I still have no idea how she got out of that crate.  Not only is she a lemon but she is a magician.  Of course she is too adorable to stay mad at for long.  

Rain, Rain Go Away

The Lemon Puppy is a fruit loop.  She doesn't want to go outside in the snow.  She doesn't want to go outside in the rain.  She doesn't even want to go outside in a strong wind.  Forget about going outside when it is raining AND cold.

We had a couple of inches of snow here the other day and now the Lemon Puppy is all in a tizzy.  When the snow was falling she refused to get off the porch to do her business.  Great, now we have a 'pee porch'.  If you ever come to visit, don't sit directly on the porch.

Fruit Loop!

When it finally stops snowing, the princess will daintily venture down but only if we provide for her a little cut out of non-snow area.

The Lemon enjoying her snow free space

I swear sometimes she looks at me like 'You expect me to go outside in this? Carry me bitch.'

Oh lemon puppy.... how we love you.

There She Goes.....

There she goes again!  She couldn't hide her true form for long and the Lemon Puppy is back.  One tiny stomach rash and $400 later we are back from the vet, her home away from home.

Getting Excited for the Visit!

We scheduled an appointment for her to see the vet because 1. it had been awhile and 2. she had a little irritation on her stomach we wanted someone to look at.

Licking her lips in anticipation

Her favorite room

Less than 20 minutes later we find out she had eczema and a parasite.  Wonderful!  I don't even want to count how many medications she is on.... so I will just show you instead:

Never Ending!

*all personal photos*

Typical Friday Night

*If you are easily grossed out this might be the post for you.*

Lemon Puppy strikes again!  In typical Friday night fashion, the Lemon Puppy family is home enjoying the night on the couch.  The Lemon Puppy got a rawhide bone that she had been working on for the last two days.  She finally worked it down to the bottom 1/8th of the bone.  We should have been paying attention and took it away from her but that would not have made a good story for my blog.  

All of a sudden we hear a giant gulp.  Mr. LP and I both look at each other in horror.  Did she just swallow the rest of that bone?!?!  Our fears are confirmed when we see her coughing and stumbling around looking like this: 

Even the LemonPuppy has too much birthday fun!

She is stumbling all over the place and starts throwing up trying to get the bone out.  Mr. LP and I are running around alternating between trying to save the rugs and trying to save the dog.  While I run for towels, Mr. LP is attempting to get the Lemon Puppy off the rug because she is throwing up everywhere.  Finally in a moment of clarity I yell at him "Forget the rug, you are going to have to reach in there a pull it out!".  Better him than me ;) 

Luckily it works and Mr. LP is able to dislodge the bone allowing her to get it down.  She swallows a couple of times and the goes back to take over the couch like nothing had happened.  Meanwhile she left a trail of grossness all over the living room and dining room.

Who me?  But I am too cute

Oh Lemon Puppy.  It is never a dull night with you around!

Why Lemon Puppy?

My puppy is a lemon!  I am waiting for the 'Cash for Puppies' program to begin so I can turn her in.  Don't believe me, behold: 

She is over a year old and still wets the bed (aka her crate).  We can't leave her in there for more than four hours at a time.  She definitely can't go to slumber parties with other puppies.  She has been in a cone five times since we got her.  That is about once every two months.

Lemon Puppy is constantly getting into ridiculous situations and mishaps.  She is the Amelia Bedelia of dogs.  There is always a story when I pick her up from doggy daycare.  Last week the patient and understanding staff mentioned that she managed to not only get into the staff bathroom but lock herself in from the inside and before they could break the door down, get herself back out again.

Would anyone like a puppy?